Oh lord, forgive me
For all he made me do
For his love
Another’s loss
I knew not
That you’d see
The noose
Her screams
You sent him to my window
I hear him
Sharpening his knife
Her whispers in the trees
Full of emotion. I’m not quite sure if the speaker was the killer under a spell, or a woman under the killer’s spell but not knowing definitely adds to the tension.
Thanks Jo-Anne, I could tell you what happened in my mind to get the protagonist to this prayer, but instead I shall leave you hanging to allow your own conclusions! I’m pleased its an open ended, tense read. Thanks for the comment 😉
The words and the photo are great together. This really makes me want to look over my shoulder. I like how these sounds are all ones that would interrupt a silence, ones that wouldn’t be heard with the normal commotion of life…creepy!
These super-short lines really add to the tension. That sound of the knife being sharpened…*shivers.* I love the layers of sound you’ve portrayed–loud, soft, internal.
A Savage Joy 
A guilty mind filled with noises of past misdeeds! Beautifully done!
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Thanks Uma, a dark start to the week from me 😉
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Full of emotion. I’m not quite sure if the speaker was the killer under a spell, or a woman under the killer’s spell but not knowing definitely adds to the tension.
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Thanks Jo-Anne, I could tell you what happened in my mind to get the protagonist to this prayer, but instead I shall leave you hanging to allow your own conclusions! I’m pleased its an open ended, tense read. Thanks for the comment 😉
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Chilling.
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Thanks!
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Nice concept..:)
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Thanks. Did you enjoy it, or was it a little macabre for a Monday morning? 😉
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This is so good! “Sharpening his knife…” Gave me chills.
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thanks wizard 😉
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Eerie if you ask me. Very nice!
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Thanks! Glad to have spooked 😉
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I like the open-ended nature of this. Makes the mystery so much more tantalising!
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Thanks Shailaja, great feedback!
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The best words are ones that carve mystery and this is exactly that. Loved the phrase – “Her whispers in the trees.” The photo is a great addition.
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Thanks so much for taking the time to give such specific feedback, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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The words and the photo are great together. This really makes me want to look over my shoulder. I like how these sounds are all ones that would interrupt a silence, ones that wouldn’t be heard with the normal commotion of life…creepy!
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Thanks for the thoughtful and helpful feedback! Delighted you felt it worked! 😉
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These super-short lines really add to the tension. That sound of the knife being sharpened…*shivers.* I love the layers of sound you’ve portrayed–loud, soft, internal.
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Thanks for the feedback Jennifer. It’s really great to get some technical comments, and I’m delighted that I made you shiver 😉
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Ah! the silent prayer. So scary and well-knit!”The noose.
Her screams.” “Her whispers in the trees.”- beautifully described.
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Thanks so much Archita. Slightly macabre for a Monday, by Friday, I shall be dancing 😉
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Your use of periods gave this a breathy feel for me; like the narrator’s catching their breath after a rush of adrenaline.
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Yes – this! The narrator is extremely anxious by this stage. Thanks for picking up and commenting on this aspect of the gargle.
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holy balls i’m scared!!
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Sorry ’bout that 😉 job done!
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Edgar Allan People would be proud!
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Thanks for that 😉
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*shudder* creeeppyyy!!! but in a deliciously written way. =)
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Thank you – glad I managed to spook you! 😉
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Nothing like someone sharpening a knife outside your window. Fantastic last line : )
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Thanks Kymm, I know, I scared myself thinking about it!
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I love your approach to this. And the darkness. Very cool!
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Thanks Jen, delighted you enjoyed!
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This gave me chills! Amazing.
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Thanks Adela – glad I spooked you 😉
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